candle lighting

john and i were very supported tonight at the worldwide candle lighting event. our ENTIRE rock group was there despite a very busy afternoon with church events (all except one couple made it because they were sick, and i know they wanted to be there too!) each one of us wore a pin with kathlyn's picture... i thought it would only be the girls, but the guys all wanted to wear one too! so sweet.. as each child's name was read, all the people there representing that child were to stand up, and my heart was so warmed by how many standers we had. it becomes clear to me time after time, i am the luckiest unlucky girl i know. i was able to introduce my rock group to so many of the other bereaved parents from the group including the chapter leader and she thanked them too for being such a wonderful support for me.

i somehow found the strength to do a reading at the event, which i think was so good for me because of the really difficult past few days i've had.

i started by saying...
"i'm going to read a book to my daughter because i never got the chance to. she died in the early morning hours of july 30, 2009, and was born later that night. i would like to first take the oppurtunity to thank my FAMILY for coming here tonight. and with that said, other than the spirit of my daughter, there is not a single person in this room who is related to me by blood."

i am hoping that my voice wasnt too shaky with nerves and heartbreak and that my rock group, as well as the rest of the audience, understood exactly what i meant by that and how much it meant to me that they all came.

and then i read this book...

On The Night You Were Born
by Nancy Tillman

on the night you were born,
the moon smiled with such wonder
that the stars peeked in to see you
and the night wind whispered
"life will never be the same."
because there has never been anyone like you,
ever in the world.

so enchanted with you were the wind and the rain
that they whispered the sound of your wonderful name
the sound of your name is a magical one,
let's say it outloud before we go on.
kathlyn joy davis.
you are the one and only ever you.

it sailed through the farmland
high on the breeze.
who in the world is exactly like you, who?

over the ocean
you are a miracle

and through the trees

until everyone heard it
and everyone knew
of the one and only ever you.

[this page made me cry the most!!]
not once had there been such eyes
such a nose
such silly, wiggly, wonderful toes.
in fact, i think i'll count to three,
so you can wiggle your toes for me.

when the polar bears heard,
they danced until dawn.

from faraway places,
the geese flew home.

the moon stayed up until
morning next day.

and none of the ladybugs flew away.

[this page, secondmost...]
so whenever you doubt just how special you are
and you wonder who loves you, how much and how far,
listen for the geese honking high in the sky
they're singing a song to remember you by.
or notice the bears asleep at the zoo.
it's because they've been dancing all night for you.
or drift off to sleep to the sound of the wind.
listen closely, it's whispering your name again.

if the moon stays up until morning one day
or a ladybug lands and decides to stay
or a little bird sits at your window awhile
it's because they're all hoping to see you smile.

for never before in a story or rhyme
not even once upon a time
has the world ever known a you, my friend
and it never will, not ever again..

Heaven blew every trumpet
and played every horn
on the wonderful, marvelous
night you were born.

you are loved.
the one and only ever you.

<3 kathlyn, hampton, sophie, julian, chaylan, garth <3
the newborns represented at charlotte's candle lighting 12.13.09, 7 PM