someone explain something to me. seriously.
john got the following comment on his page. i do not know this person. and, i do not care to.
"John & Beth, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I know that this cannot possibly be any consulation but i believe that there is a reason for everything that happens. My thoughts and prayers are with you."
so, before you even say it, you admit that it's no consolation. why, exactly, would you say something to us that you already know would not console us? do you think that YOUR personal beliefs mean ANYTHING to me? seriously?!
a reason? oh really? what is it? are you a doctor? an obstetrician? neonatologist? because my doctors couldn't find a reason. if you are, i'd be happy to let you go through my chart. it's pretty thick. have at it. i saw my OB on december 30. i'm going again on january 5th. so be sure to review again after that and give me an update.
better yet, are you God? no? didn't think so. so don't fucking presume to know what He wanted for my life or for my daughter's.
im done with those comments. seriously. done. i've had enough. do not make those comments to me. ever.
MY BABY DIED FOR NO REASON.
thank you.
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Totally 100% agree. You know what though, my DH's cousins lost their one year old baby years ago and this was the first thing she said to me. I said, "you really believe that. Even after losing your own child?" She said, "yes." Our babies did not die for a reason, there is nothing positive about our losses, and you have every right to be angry.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had to read that shit, I've had it said to me too, and it's just stupid.x
ReplyDeletewell said Beth. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteYea, I've heard that gem a few times too.
ReplyDeleteMy typical response is - okay, then - tell me a good reason that a baby would die. I say it politely, but with feeling so they 'get' that the comment doesn't help, and shouldn't be said.
This is an impossible road, made all the more complicated by those that don't get it. So sorry Beth.
Beth - absolutely, totally and completely agree with you. There will never, ever be a reason that our babies aren't in our arms, where they belong.
ReplyDeleteI've had that comment said to me as well. Along with "Maybe God spared your baby from living with a serious disability." My response: "Well then why doesn't He save ALL babies from being born with disabilities?! Why was my baby so special to be 'spared'?" No, there is no reason for our losing our babies. And it's truly hurtful to hear someone tell us that!
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