raw truth, yesterday at 9:54 pm
knocked up and knocked down.. i was pregnant for 9 months and now i have this stupid blog, pictures to post of flowers instead of a baby, a nursery which could double as a babiesRus annex, a casket which i spent hundreds of dollars on and almost immediately burned, a crushed soul, and a broken heart.
..pray the Lord my soul to keep
Yesterday at 10:33pm
i only have about 50 pictures of my baby.. it's the only pictures i'll have ever. she is so beautiful and i could look at her all day.. that is basically all i did today, print them out and arrange them for sharing.
it's such a sensitie subject. Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep is a wonderful, free service, and the photos are beautiful, but still sensitive and horribly sad to look at, or to even think that such a service needs to exist.
but she's still my baby, and i still want people to see her and fawn over her. it's sensitive to john, too. he doesnt want anyone to have to see them by coming across one by accident. so, i made a slideshow today, but by his request, im not posting it publically here on facebook. i want it to be seen though, so i will give anyone the link who wants to see it. i promise it's the gentle, retouched, and black and white pictures, where she just looks like she's sleeping. (note for blogger: this is the photo slideshow i have posted to the right. you only have to click if you want to.)
as ive said before, please dont post it anywhere. i dont mind if you show others, as long as the link is shared privately, and just tell me that you did. this is john's wish and mine, so please respect that.
i have another request. if you think you'll have a chance to see the pictures or video in person with me, wait until then. i like hearing what people say when they see her, and ive had people say they like listening to what i say about them, too. if you want to watch it before watching it with me, that's ok, but please make sure you'll have the strength to look again with me in person. there is another "professional" video that i'll still want to share on DVD too, so make sure you'll be willing to look at both.
just let me know..
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Kathlyn is so so beautiful. I watched her sleeping peacefully with very tearful eyes. Her perfect little body and her lovely face felt so right as it lay on you and between you and your husband. Beth I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish with all my heart Kathlyn were still with us. I know these pictures make you sad but also it is hard to stop gazing at such perfection. Sending lots of love your way.
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