inspired

well.. somehow i managed to let october pass by and not post anything on here.. what's the point of a blog with no entries?! poor, poor neglected blog!

i also hadn't noticed all the blogs posted by melody ( http://comingsoontoablogspotnearyou.blogspot.com/ ), so i had to catch up on reading hers. she posted one particular blog about her brother and how he's her hero, and it gently reminded me of one of MY heroes, my own big brother. she also pointed out how her parents are also her heroes, and how that is usually just a given, and that's the same for me too.

anyway.. it's not really fair, because i have TWO big brother heroes. they both walked me down the aisle because my father didn't live to see that day (a day he'd been waiting for all his life, even before he had a daughter). lately, i've seen many mothers taking the place next to the bride on the aisle when a deceased or regular dead-beat dad wasn't there. but my brothers are basically just two clones of our daddy, and i think he, and my mother, would have wanted them there in his place. the death of my father was their loss as much as mine.. a great loss to my mother as well, but no one can understand what a father he was other than myself, brian, and tim. so down the aisle we went...

with that said, simply because i'm the baby and brian's the middle, although i love them both dearly and for different reasons.. growing up, i was closer to brian. melody spoke of legos, GI joes, transformers and forts, and i distinctly remember draping sheets and blankets all over the living room to make various forts and war scenes, with GI joes running everywhere. the spy GI joes took their places on high shelves and up on top of curtains, watching as the wars went on. and those two spies (one black, one white), were always the last joes standing.. as enemies, with everyone else a casualty of the war, the spies would shake hands and be friends. that's always how it ended.

we didnt have a pool like melody and jonathan, but we had SNOW. regular, deep, yearly snowfall. we had snow angels, snow men, and stories of two kids lost far into the winter without parents in sight. there's a video of a big snow pile we had (the start of a snowman's body, maybe?), and brian jumped right on top of it.. seconds later, i pushed him right off.. regular brother/sister antics. and snow is soft! so i knew after pushing him, he wouldn't be hurt! whenever my dad and older brother tim came out and shoveled the sidewalk back into existance, this meant there was a space between the grass of our yard, and the grass on the other side of the sidewalk.. it made a perfect World War I trench! we always jumped right inside, on our bellies, and peeked out over the snowbank to watch for intruders. pink fingers, noses, and toes later, we were inside for hot chocolate. in the spring, when the snow melted, we always found our toys that had been lost for weeks or months underneath the snow.

and oh how i cried when he was ready to finish high school. i cried during the graduation. i cried all summer. and we cried and cried and cried some more when we took him to the airport. i didnt want my big brother to leave! i'd be all alone in that school! who would help me with my calculus (see melody?! it's so much the same!) but off to the University of Texas he went. that thanksgiving, my parents and i took a trip to go see him. and oh what a JOY! jessica (his now wife of 10 years) had entered the picture during brian's senior year, so i had to share him. but THIS trip, it was just brian and me. i went to one of his classes at Texas with him.. i don't know, something like Algebra and Calculus 303 For Rocket Scientists (or something!) there were only about 10 people in this class (at one of the biggest schools in the country.. i guess they only have 10 rocket scientists, even there)... so the instructor knew him by name and noticed an extra person sitting with him, so brian said "hi, this is my sister.. my BABY sister." appropriate emphasis added on the "baby". that's RIGHT! i am the baby sister. HIS baby sister. then and always.

brian is a daddy now.. as wonderful and perfect a daddy and husband as the daddy and husband that raised him. his wife and THREE baby boys are his pride, joy, his everything. i grew up around a lot of little babies.. cousins, neighbors, friends, the toddlers in my dayare class, i loved them all. i was the coveted babysitter of the block.. but NOTHING compares.. how much i loved all those neighborhood babies.. than when i laid eyes on christian for the first time (met him before reed). a NEPHEW. a real nephew, the real flesh and blood of my sweet brian! it is simply an amazing feeling, and i would die for any and all six of my nephews and niece. (can you just IMAGINE how much i will CHERISH my own babies!!! now THERE'S a blog to come!)

so with all the love brian has to give to his wife and sons, baby sister bethie doesn't get to be first anymore.. but that's ok :) in my most recent visit, we had been out and about all day doing thing with the babies, who were snug in bed as john and i, brian and jessica plopped on the couch to catch the rest of the current baseball game being aired. jessica was about to fall asleep, john was just resting next to me, and out of nowhere, i said "hey brian, what happens in the mara and nara chapter? ... you have to find the secret sauce!" and brian burst out into hysterical laughter. jessica, half asleep, was like "you two always do this!!" and brian said "sorry! beth is just too silly!" hahah... so i know i still have a place in my hero brian's heart.. where those seriously ridiculous, funny, and sweet childhood memories make their way back out from our minds into the forefront of our hearts.